From Sales Person To Sales Professional

20 - The quality of your attention - SBSYou might be surprised to find that changing one word can resource you to manage your critic. Your brain records all kinds of emotions and information and if a  I remember for years I was striving for normal

Here is another article in the series co-written with Steve Bimpson the founder of Think Big.

Did you see “Manage your critic manage your sales”

Today I want to hand you over to Steve’s who will share why he is Sales Professional not a Sales Person and how that change of language transformed the way he did business. Continue reading From Sales Person To Sales Professional

Manage Your Critic – Manage Your Sales

Steve BimpsonWhen you’re working in your own business, selling is one of the fundamental processes that you’re going to have to get involved with and take responsibility for.  After all, it’s your business and you’re responsible for growing it.  Statistically though, the vast majority of business owners aren’t sales people and many would hate to be perceived as salesy. You might have noticed your critic having quite a lot to say about selling or worrying about being a nuisance. Continue reading Manage Your Critic – Manage Your Sales

How Do Professional Photos Improve Your Sales?

Strength and Solution DetectiveAt the heart of every business is sales. Without clients you cannot do more of what you love.

So why is it important, in my opinion to have professional photos?

There is the obvious one, in that they are better quality and once you have invested in them, they will be at the right resolution for all kinds of marketing material such as pop up banners etc.

But for me, which probably won’t come as much of a surprise, it is more about the emotional side. When you work with a professional photographer, they know how to position you so that you get the best angle and how to use the light to work with your image. Continue reading How Do Professional Photos Improve Your Sales?

Why Not Everyone Should Write A Business Book?

thickpaperbackfront_604x964As I approach the final stages of writing my first business book I am taking sometime to reflect on some of the critics that inferred that I shouldn’t write a book. Some questioned that this was just a distraction? Others inferred it was an avoidance strategy. Some said it was a waste of time and it won’t make you money. And others looked on and said I wish I had your courage. Continue reading Why Not Everyone Should Write A Business Book?

Why Can’t I Plan Like Everyone Else?

I often hear people having a conversation with their critic about why they can’t plan like everyone else.

Many observe how others plan and think they are doing it wrong.

That is your mammalian brain operating in survival mode. It is checking do you fit in and how do you need to behave to survive in this pack/group. It is trying to work out the rules and the reality is that the rules are different for each of us. What we need to work, learn and live at our best is an constanlty evolving model that needs to be reviewed and checked to ensure you are making decions with the most up to date data.

When your attention is on rules and how do you fit in you are not thinking from a place of clarity but survival.

 

Truine Brain B&W

Cailtin Walker credits Erica Jenson author of “Brain based teaching and learning” for this model in her book” From Contempt to Curiosity”

When is the best time to plan?

Some say that you should plan and set goals annually, then quarterly and review them monthly.

Some say that you should have 5 year and 10 year goals.

But if that is not how your brain works your critic can have a lot to say and this wastes valuable time and energy.

Do you want more time for the people and things that matter?

Planning over different time frames gives you a more comprehensive overview and yet few are agile at all time frames. Most of us are naturally drawn to one or the other. We either love the detail planning of day to day or we are drawn to the big picture visionary planning. And few in my experience have an effective system in place to check the consquences of the business plan on your health and family.

I can be uncomfortable to think in a way that is not natural for you.

Which is why it important to learn to be comfortable with uncomfortable long enough to hear what it has to say.

So the answer to the question why can’t you plan like everyone else is because no one plans the same. We have some groups that are similar and even the in the moment and the big picture planners have their own unique process.

The key to succcess is knowing how you personally plan at your best and then you can transfer those same skills and models to different time frames.

When you are start with your natural style your reptillian and mammalian brain don’t feel that you are under threat and they relax and then you can think with clarity.

Wealth Dynamics is a great business development tool that quickly makes sense of what your natural time frame may be. Be curious about the time frames that work for you. If you were to have a planning day this week when would it feel comfortable to have the next one? Notice what works for you and how far apart they are.Then consider what would you like to have happen today? What would you like to have happen in the next week? Next Month? Next Year? 5 years? Notice which time frame you find easier to answer.Now reflect back and notice what has worked in the past week, month or year?

If you find you can’t imagine or plan for these time frames get curious and change the time frames and notice what happens?

Can you do 5 days?

Can you do 21 days?

Can you do 3 years?

As The Strength and Solution Detective I work with you to track patterns and notice what is happening when it works for you. Through the power of metaphor we can stretch and develop the agility of your planning time frame.

Clarity brain

Your brain is processing lots of information all of the time and a plan gives you clarity of what you want and it can settle your critic and prevent you from communicating from a place of survival.

Each time you set time aside I recommend you take a moment to reflect on what has worked, what is working and what would it be like if it were just the way you would like it to be? These questions take you through the different time frames and in my experience it reassures your critic that all is okay.

 

 

If you are curious about how you plan, how you make decisions and how that impacts your time then do check out Do, Delegate or Ditch a two day retreat to give you time out from business and family to learn about how you plan or book clarity sessions and simply make time to plan.

I hope you have found this article useful and I would value your comments below. Please share:

What do you know now?

What difference does knowing that make?

If you are unsure what your natural time frame is and you would like to understand more about how to Manage Your Critic you can find out more here

And you can join us in the Facebook group Clarity confidence and change.

If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happily set you up for success. I might be part of the support you need and I might not be but either way you will you know your next best step.

Or find out more about how to manage your critic in 21 days with our on line library and webinars that explain why the critic occurs and practical ways to manage it.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detectivehow to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she learned the importance of being heard and asked for support.

By changing the way she listened she was able to manage her critic and gain clarity of what she wanted and the confidence to ask for it.

Sheryl now runs programmes that encourage you to really listen to what you need to work, learn and live at your best with others and the confidence to ask for those needs to be met.

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Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

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Clarity confidence and change. Daily activities to get you thinking.

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Please do send me a personal message if you are sending me a friend request as I don’t say yes unless I know you a little.

I Can’t Stop I Have Too Much To Do!!

sailing July 2016 _nWriting this book is challenging me on all kinds of levels.

One I have to be clear what my message is and even now in the final stages I am only just getting clear what I want to say and who I want to say it to. No wonder my business has struggled at times with on line marketing. I have never had trouble with face to face marketing as I just listen, they say what they are struggling with and I say that can I help with that.

Just like my clients who come to me, I have to be focused and willing to ask for help.

I have to believe in myself more than I have ever done and believe that what I have got to say has value and will be useful to others. And I have to be brave because I know some of the people that I would like to hear me won’t and some will want to spend more time teaching me what they think I have done wrong than listening to what I have to say and I want to be ready to listen. I don’t want to be defensive.

Wiht this in mind I am currently going through all kinds of emotions.

Fear has definitely showed its face a few times in the last few weeks as the deadlines draws closer.

My motivation is driven by the fact I want to have a copy of my book in my hand when I got to Australia to visit my best friend in Oct. 17th Oct the book has to be ready. No more pushing it back or making excuses it has to happen.

I have now let go of 75% of the book which means there is no going back and adding or changing unless I want to pay the editor to do her job again.

That leaves me with the final 25% tobe sent over by the end of this week.

On top of that I have clients to take care of, a business to run, a family to connect with and the all important factor of life – I want to have fun. I am sure I am not alone but it always fascinates me how the human brain can shut down into survival mode and leave us feeling like it is just us. Even though I spend much of my time supporting others to gain clarity of their message and helping them make sense of the response they get I am still just like my clients. When I get over tired and I don’t stop to reflect and ackowledge how far I have come and how well I am doing my brain goes into flight, fight or freeze.

My critic has a lot more to say when it thinks I am in danger and when I am tired my clarity brain stops operating as effectively if at all.

Learning to notice the signs and develop strategies to communicate from a place of clairty and confidence is an iterative process.

Last week in my mastermind session the signs that I had not been listening to my critic were there. I had become teary and unable to focus. The overwhelm had reached a limit that was testing my resilience.

I use to think that when I reached this point that I was pathetic until I changed the way I managed my critic.

Now instead of calling myself names and responding with an opinion or judgment I ask more questions and I get curious. What I know to be true is that when I change my focus I change the response.

So this time last week I asked my critic what kind of pathetic is that pathetic?

The answer was – well everyone else can do this but you can’t?

In that moment I remembered how disempowering universal qualifiers can be. By saying things like everyone else can without any evidence that this is true, my mammailian brain kicks into survival mode because it worries that I am left out and I am not part of a pack that will take care of me and protect me.

That is why it is so important to find peer suppport to share the journey.

I then asked what would pathetic like to have happen?

The answer was: – I really want some time off and I want to know that I can still get the book finished before my editor goes on holiday on the 12th August and I want to be sure that I am not going to be misdunderstood.

Once I knew the real problem I was able to email my editor and ask her what is the very latest I can get the last section over and what impact does it have on her and the price I am paying if I change the deadline.

I had to check with my peer reveiw who are my ideal client what they thought of the book and then I remembered they had given me the feedback that gave me evidence the overall message was being heard as I wanted it to be.

Regarding being misunderstood that is inevitable. People will read it and make their own interpretation so I can’t do anything about that, other than be sure that I am happy with what I said and what I meant by it. Then when they criticise I can ask questions and be curious how they came to that conclusion when that was not my intention.

I was so grateful to have 15 minutes to chat to my book mentor which instanlty put my mind at rest and that I was not alone. Knowing that support is in place meant I was able to relax at the weekend and enjoyed a fab weekend catching up with people I love.

With that clarity it means I can ask for help from a place of confidence and not from a place of victim.

As I sit here today working I am so glad I gave my body and mind time to focus on fun and friendship because now I feel like I have more energy and more clairty and confidence has space to grow.

What is happening for you?

Do you listen to your critic and believe everything it says or do you ask questions and ask for evidence?

Feel free to share below your thoughts or join us in the Facebook group Clarity confidence and change.

If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happily set you up for success. I might be part of the support you need and I might not be but either way you will you know your next best step.

Or find out more about how to manage your critic in 21 days with our on line library and webinars that explain why the critic occurs and practical ways to manage it.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detectivehow to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she conquered her sensitivity to criticism and her fear of not being liked.

Sheryl runs programmes that encourage you to speak your mind. Giving you space and time to gain clarity and confidence of what you want whilst learning simple models and tools that help make sense of change. Through the step by step listening process you will become more and more confident to give and receive criticism and develop the support you need to more of what you love and ditch the critic that says you can’t

Free Guide Success Without Stress

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

Twitter

Linked in

Facebook Business

Facebook Personal

Clarity confidence and change. Daily activities to get you thinking.

Step by Step Listening You Tube Channel

Please do send me a personal message if you are sending me a friend request as I don’t say yes unless I know you a little.

Can One Event Really Change Your Life Forever?

For years I had worked hard to really help as many people as possible. My clients were become really successful in business and their personal relationships were flourishing. They were moving house and I felt I just didn’t earn enough to make that kind of change, they were booking luxury holidays and I just wished I could and they were buying lovely cars and I convinced myself that a nice car didn’t matter to me.

My critic had taken over and instead of loving helping others I started to resent it and guess what when you are not loving what you do and doing what you love you are not really that attractive and you don’t really inpsire many people to come closer to take a look. Continue reading Can One Event Really Change Your Life Forever?

Manage Your Critic and Celebrate Cancellations

celebrate cancellations

 

You know something is wrong with your business set up when you are celebrating cancellations. You know that moment when you finally have a breather in your diary because a client has cancelled and really you should be thinking about the loss of income.

Why does this happen?

In my experience it is because there is more to life than money. Your health and well being are impacted if you can’t say no and manage your critic so that you can manage your diary.

Now another example of celebrating when a client cancels is when you are thinking about the money and you are really excited that you have won another sale. You tell your partner with a cheshire grin – sold another package today and made £xxx. Then the next day you have to say they cancelled.

There are a couple of things emerged for a client I was recently working with when they listened to their critic.

  1. They questioned their sales process and why people were cancelling and started to look for patterns.
  2. Who is your ideal client? Is this your ideal client that you are about to lose and why?
  3. What is your message? Are you saying what you mean and meaning what you say?

1- Sales Process

When the explored this a bit better they discovered there was a pattern of people saying I can’t afford and I don’t want to be in debt. Then they listened to what they were saying during the sales process. In desperation to get the sale they had said the person could do payment plans, offerred discounts and practically begged the person to work with them.

Can invite you to think about when you are buying and it feels right what is happening?

When you are selling in a way that feels right what is happening?

Is that what is happening now? If not, do you need to manage your critic and find out what is triggering you to deviate from what works for you and potentially is preventing you from doing more of what you love?

2. Ideal client 

I talk a little more about the difference between an ideal client and target market in this article here.

In essence all our potential clients are on a journey and they do not arrive ready to buy. Occassionally they are your ideal client, they have the problem you love to solve, they like your style of working and your proposed solution, they are available when you are and they are willing to pay what you charge.

And sometimes they come along and they have 2 out of 4. They may have the problem you solve and you may well be so desparate to take their pain away that you will do anything to make it easy for them to buy. But that is where you are going wrong. Instead you need lower end solutions that can support them at the price and time they can afford which may be enough to solve their problem or it will keep them connected to you until the time and price is right.

People have so many priorities they will only invest in you when the pain or the reward is high enough. Even though you can predict how bad it could get you cannot take them there in their thinking. They have to get there in their own time.

When this happens to me I am so grateful for Manage your critic on line resource as this gives them access to the tools and a little bit of me for a fraction of the cost.

And when I finish writing the book that is the hook for my business I will have something even more affordable to share.

When a client cancels it gives you an opportunity to reflect on your sales funnel and your clients journey. Do you have something more affordable for those that cannot afford you?

3. What is your message?

Whenever a client cancels I believe the way you handle this will determine their next best step. If your critic kicks and you get prickly, defensive and arsy about how they are not respecting your time, you can’t stand people that mess other people around then your critic is putting all the attention external. Be mindful all communication is two way and whilst you cannot change how others respond, you can notice patterns. Has this happened to you before? Is this a one off? Or is this happening more and more?

Paying attention to and reflecting on your conversation might make sense of why you are getting cancellations.

Do you value your time?

Do you mess people around?

Cancellations are always a gift to learn something when you change the way you listen and manage your critic.

 

 

 

Why I help business owners manage their critic?

supported trader

I was reading my book mentor and joint venture partners blog “Why do I help business owners write books?” 

And it got me thinking why do I help business owners manage their critic?

My big why is that small business owners, the sole traders of this world often are self employed because they want a better lifestyle and they care about their families. And in an attempt to save money or perhaps to avoid looking weak struggle on for far too long without realising most sole traders are actually supported traders. No one does it on their own?

No one is really a sole trader. Everyone has someone – even if it is just their clients, best friend or partner encouraging them to do more of what they love, they are never alone. And we can at times feel like it is all down to us and that we are on own. Unless you have the courage to break the cycle and ask for help. Now it might be working with a coach like me that is there to encourage and empower. Or you might want more practical support. It could be in the business or at home. Childcare, cleaner or book keeper. They are all offering you support so that you are not feeling like you are on your own.

And yet that statement sole trader and that thought of being alone can be quite liberating and give you a sense of freedom and your critic can panic that you are giving up your freedom and independence if you ask for support.

Your critic can be equally critical if you feel isolated and not supported and you may start to resent how hard you are working for little or no return.

From Sole Trader to Supported Traders

You start out with a vision to provide better for your family and before long you are working long hours.

And some of you will make lots of money most don’t and nearly all lose time with their loved ones and some lose their health as a result of the stress.

And I was that business owner. I started out in 2008 because I had burnt myself out in a corporate role and decided what I really wanted was to be a stay at home mum. That decision was made when I was in crisis and without any real support other than the love of my husband saying “Whatever you decide I will support”

What I now know is that when our critic is not settled we go into drama and we automatically revert to animal instincts of flight, fright or freeze and that is what I did. I no longer felt heard at work and I was working 70 hours a week and to add salt to the wound the bonus structure changed, whereas once I could generate £2000 per quarter in bonuses now it was just £200.

Feeling low I took this personally and I just could not bounce back.

That said it was the right decision to leave but it was the wrong reason. Once I was away from the drama I soon realised that my family were all at school most of the time and I was bored cleaning the house. So I changed my decision to become a good working mum.

But then what happened is that I became so focused on working that for a number of years I did forget to give my role as homemaker and mum equal opportunity. It was like my critic only knew how to value the role I got paid for and for those that have been self employed you will know that you often don’t get paid that well and you seem to work much harder than before.

My self worth became all about how much money I had made or the success of my clients. Instead of noticing that I had never missed a school play and that I had had time to listen when my children were scared.

What I have learned over the years is that the most common mistake business owners make is that they forget to focus on all 4 parts of the decision making process.

We make decisions that serve us:

  • emotionally
  • physically
  • mentally
  • and financially

The trouble is that financially it is always easier to measure success and if you see it that way failure. Whereas if your reason for being in business was to reduce stress and have more time with your family that is often less tangible and obvious to recognise and in turn more difficult to value.

Why I help business owners manage their critic is because the critic is often speaking up on behalf of the part you are ignoring and learning to listen to your critic with curiosity allows you to:

  • Hear a new perspective
  • Make an informed and balanced decision
  • Stay focused on what matters
  • Keep the big picture in mind

Why does that matter?

For me I believe small businesses are our way of shifting the wealth from those who dominate the market.

I believe by increasing the number of small businesses not only can I help shift the wealth in the world, I can also help rebuild our communities and give people time back to listen to their children read, to support them through change and effectively reduce the number of teens self harming and trying to commit suicide.

I truly believe the solution is more successful small business owners and I know that those that can motivate, manage and mentor their critic can move from sole trader to supported trader and supported traders do better business for longer without compromising their health or their family.

A supported business owner has more time and patience and are more effective as parents, aunties, uncles and friends.

A supported business owner is inspired to find their own personal pathway to wealth and happiness and they don’t measure their success by the success of others.

A supported business owner measures their success by noticing change in themselves and celebrating every small change.

And those same supported business owners have time to teach their children how to fit in and stand out all at the same time.

And those same supported business owners can support their life partners through times of change be it bereavement, redundancy, childbirth or ill health.

And those same supported business owners are willing to ask for as much help as they are willing to give.

And those same supported business owners give both the critic and cheerleader equal opportunity to be heard and understood.

How about you why are you in business?

What is your big why?

How can Karen or I support you to do more of what you love and ditch the critic that says you can’t.

Check out the new online Manage Your Critic Library which includes the Wealth Dynamics Report and free 30 Minute change call. In 21 days you can manage your critic, gain clarity of your strengths and discover your pathway to wealth and happiness.
Feel free to share below or join us in the Facebook group Clarity confidence and change.
Need to manage your critic? Want more clarity?

Book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happily set you up for success.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detective

how to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she learned how to manage her critic and conquered her sensitivity to criticism. Giving her the tools and resources to overcome her fear of not being liked and not feeling like she was ever good enough.

Today, Sheryl runs safe to speak retreats where you gain clarity of what you want and the confidence to ask for it by developing your listening skills, asking more questions and discovering what emotional buttons are triggering your sensitivity to criticism and praise. You see if you have learned to block out criticism you may well have blocked out hearing how valuable you are and how much of a difference you make and Sheryl is here to change the focus and ensure that criticism and compliments are given equal opporutnity to be heard and understood.

Free Guide – Success with Stress

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

Twitter

Linked in

Facebook Business

Facebook Personal

Clarity confidence and change. Daily activities to get you thinking.

Step by Step Listening You Tube Channel

Please do send me a personal message if you are sending me a friend request as I don’t say yes unless I know you a little.

 

Manage Your Critic – And Make A Decision

Decisions Decisions!!!

Stresses and strains

As a business owner juggling work, home and your personal needs, you have to make lots of decisions. Have you noticed some are really easy and others go round and round in your head?

Life is full of decisions and when we have clarity of what we want and what works for us it becomes possible to manage our critic and make things happen.

I was really chuffed when one of my readers emailed me on Tuesday gutted to find it was only Tuesday and they would have another day for the What’s working newsletter so I thanked them and asked them did they have a particular problem they would like me to write about and this was the response.

I am sure many of you can relate to this, I know I can. This was me before I learned to manage my critic. And occasionally still is when I don’t give myself time to really identify what I want and celebrate change that is happening in the moment. Continue reading Manage Your Critic – And Make A Decision