Why Is Why Such a Difficult Question To Answer?

start with whyI am currently listening to the audio book “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek.

And I have been spending this week really listening to myself and tuning into my why and already I can feel a momentum building up inside that is driving me forward to do more of what I love.

My clarity and confidence to keep taking the next step and the next step is growing in energy like a steam train as it starts to pull out of the station.  I am loving this experience. And yet it wasn’t an easy question to answer.

Infact I am not even sure I have answered sufficiently yet to be in a position to put it up as a company or personal mission.

And I am aware that currently my mission statement is very much about ‘what’ we do not why we do it.

I have heard this advice about know your why before, many MLM companies preach that you should know your why and having coached a number of teams leaders I am familiar with the concept.

And I have seen many struggle with the question – why?

When you have your why clear in your mind it is said that you can gain greater loyalty of your clients.

So if the why question is so powerful and so resourceful why is it that so many of us – me included find it hard to tune into and respond to it.

I have a theory. First of all as children we often ask the why question and as parents it can be hard to answer because we are editing the response to make it age appropriate or just appropriate as we perceive. So I wonder if we create a habit of self editing and not allowing ourselve to truly trust our first thoughts and exploring it.

As a trained Clean Language facilitator I am trained to calibrate which questions work. I ask a question and then depending on the response I will try a different question. It is true not everyone can answer all questions and I have come to realise that we all have a natural pathway and a selection of questions that we are more comfortable and resourced to answer than others.

When I work with a client I start with what works for them and then gently ease them into the other questions until they have another perspective. Giving them a new insight that they just could not have got with their own natural way of questioning.

It can be uncomfortable in those quiet moments between the question and a response, which is why both the client and I have a contract to be comfortable with uncomfortable long enough for new information to appear.

My Why

So this week I am exploring my why. I am trying to boil it down into just 7 words and I know that why is not my natural question.

I wrote this article at the weekend for my mum and it is the why I started. But I am not sure it is the why I continue.

It will take some drilling down.  So why do I do what I do is the question I am exploring in this article.

I am paying attention to when my emotions are heigtened either with joy or frustation. It helps me pay attention to what really matters.

I think it is something to do with no family should suffer because of work pressures and I beleive having peer coaching groups is the solution to releasing the pressure that often builds up out of misunderstanding. I also believe that peer coaching groups reassure us it not just us that feels that way and it makes it normal and therefore breaks down barriers and isolation.

With appropriate peer coaching an individual can gain clarity and maintain confidence which in turn sets them up to do their best work.

Without this kind of support the vicious cycle of self doubt, poor performance and then feeling a failure at home can begin.

I truly believe by focusing on helping others do more of what they love and ditching the critic that says they can’t we can have more profitable businesses and harmony at home.

Do you know your why?

Do you know your natural default question?

When I came across the Wealth Dynamics Business Tool it made sense of why I had fallen in love with Clean Language as a process and also why it challenges me sometimes.

wealth-dynamics-square-520pxI wonder where you are on the grid?

Dynamo energy people tend to be great at asking the what questions and in fact if you are not talking what will happen or what could happen they can become quite restless.

Blaze energy are very focused on who and love making sure the people are okay.

Tempo want to know when and where things will happen – they are all about timing and serving

Steel want to understand how and love systems to make things easier and more efficient.


What I am noticing already as I focus on my why is that I really need the clean language questions to navigate and reveal the answer in a way that my brain can handle.

My big why is my children and my even bigger why is families worldwide.

I believe if you don’t feel effective in the workplace and you don’t feel of value then you bring that drama home and you are unable to bring the best of yourself to your personal relationships.

I want you to know how to live and work without fear of failure or feelings of guilt.

I want you to know you matter and you are of value because I believe we are nicer to those we love when we feel valued.

How you listen to someone can often determine if they feel heard and honoured. How you listen to yourself and how you question yourself will also determine how well you value the difference you make by showing up as the best version of you.

Life is too short for misunderstandings and conflict that can so easily be resolved by educating people how we listen.


Please do get in touch if you want to drill down and find your why. Don’t miss the next Do delegate or Ditch 60 day confidence programme

Can’t do those dates and what to start now we can arrange a VIP day. Contact me now.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detective

how to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she conquered her sensitivity to criticism and her fear of not being liked.

Today, Sheryl runs safe to speak retreats where you can develop resources and skills to gain clarity and confidence of what you want and how you want to be and all the time you will be improving and changing the way you respond to feedback.

Fancy a virtual coffee and chat, then please feel free to book a complimentary clarity and confidence session. or SAS Detective TV

Don’t know how call her now….+44(0)1329 286648

Free Step By Step Listening Guide

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media


Linked in

Facebook Business

Facebook Personal


Please do send me a personal message as I don’t say yes to everyone that sends me a connection or friend request.


Published By

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening is well known for her fast speaking and highly motivational passion. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough. Sheryl use to find it difficult when criticised even when she knew they meant well and found it difficult to respond rather than react. A series of 3 events in her personal life exaggerated her emotional overwhelm and forced her to address this problem and conquer her sensitivity to criticism. Today she shares every day stories of every day people and inspires you to discover ways to gain clarity and confidence to change the way feedback and criticism impacts your performance.

View all posts by Sheryl Andrews →

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Verification code *