What Are Your Motivators?

how to improve listening skillsThe biggest advantage of improving your listening skills is that you can start to notice patterns and develop greater understanding of what works for you and what doesn’t. In this article I want to share with you a tool that really empowered me to hear and understand what my motivators are.

Do you know what motivates you?

Do you know what de-motivates you?

I was really surprised to find that in fact the solution for me was in understanding more about what de-motivated me.

Continue reading What Are Your Motivators?

What Is the difference Between You And Those That Are Successful?

belinda-dddWould you like 2017 to be ‘your’ year to make things happen?

What have you been promising or hoping will happen one day? Have you noticed that one day comes and goes and nothing has changed? Perhaps you find yourself saying you don’t have enough time or you don’t have enough money? But you do know that when you really, really want something you make it happen.

Whatever it is? Lose weight? Write a book? Grow your business?

I almost guarantee that you won’t achieve it without clarity of what you want. Drilling down and getting really clear about what would be happening when you achieve that outcome helps your brain tune into and identify the opportunities. It also helps you become more vigilant when making decisions that will take you away from your outcome and those that take you towards it.

Clarity

When you have clarity you will know exactly what you want and you will have a stronger sense of what it would be like to achieve it. You might even know when you want it by? When you have that emotional connection deep inside you that can become energy that motivates and drives you to take action.

I think the difference between those that are successful and those that are not is -clarity. Have you noticed when you know with every fibre in your body what you want, then you will do anything to make it happen? I see this with parents who will do anything for their children but somehow don’t have that same drive for themselves and their dreams.

Perhaps you have gone without things to give your children a better future and in doing so you gave up your own aspirations right now. What if you could inspire your children to make their dreams a reality by making your own dreams come true.

When you have clarity of what you want you can also become curious about what kind of people you need to support you through that change?

It is important to be curious about how you need to be to work at your best with those that matter to your success and happiness?

Without clarity you cannot communicate clearly. It doesn’t matter whether we are talking about your  marketing message to attract clients or simply asking family and friends for help.

Without clarity you run the risk of asking for things only to discover when you get it, that wasn’t really what you wanted after all. This can then be difficult for people trying to help you and perhaps they might give up.

Power of Planning

tracey-dddEvery month I run power of planning sessions that give you time and space to think and clarify what you want. Time to make decisions, drill down and learn gain clarity of what you want. Sometimes clients discover that we don’t really want what we thought we did and that is why we haven’t been successful. Your subconscious is listening and if you dont’ ‘really’ want it then it won’t happen. It is worth taking time and exploring the reason for procrastination. You might be able to take it of your to do list and stop having that same old conversation going on and on. Either because you decide you don’t want it or because you make it happen.

Do, Delegate or Ditch

If you know that planning, decision making and time management is an ongoing pattern that keeps repeating and you are ready to invest in changing behaviour that is no longer serving you then please do check out Do, delegate or Ditch. This is a 60 day programme with a two day retreat which I am running twice in 2017. 23rd and 24th March and 6th and 7th Dec.

If one of the things you have been promising yourself is to write a book then don’t miss Karen’s free book master class 9th January.

Sheryl – The Strength and Solution Detective
Supporting you to do more of what you love and ditch the critic that says you can’t

Feel free to share below your thoughts or join us in the Facebook group Manage your critic – from Overwhelm to clarity in 7 steps

If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happy set you up for success. I might be part of the solution you need and I might not but you will you know your next best step. Or you can thickpaperbackfront_FinalPurchase a copy of my book here

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detectivedetective-happy-smaller

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she learned the importance of being heard and asking for support. In her book she describes the step by step journey she took to learn how to manage her critic turning her overwhelm into clarity in 7 steps.

Sheryl now runs retreats that encourage you to really listen to what you need to work, learn and live at your best with others and the confidence to ask for those needs to be met.

Free Guide Success Without Stress

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

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Linked in

Facebook Business

Step by Step Listening You Tube Channel

Continue reading What Is the difference Between You And Those That Are Successful?

What Does It Take To Be A Writer?

For those that have been following my journey as an author of my first business book, you will know that I am approaching the finish line, with the official book launch party set for 2nd December.

So what does it take to be a writer?

I think it is like any thing that is outside your current skill set or experience you have to be focused, supported and resilient to set backs. Continue reading What Does It Take To Be A Writer?

How Long Have You Been Saying You Wish You Could Go On A Retreat?

IMG_1952

Travelling to Spain 2015 – I looked confident but inside I was so nervous

Can you think of a time when you personally were stuck in indecision or perhaps inactivity?

Maybe you heard yourself using language that focused on blaming and berating yourself for procrastinating. Now be curious about where you need to be to think clearly? What works for you to make a good decision?

One of the things that I talk about in the book “Manage Your Critic – From Overwhelm to Clarity in 7 steps” is the importance of space.

Did you know that your brain is storing information all the time? Recording and recalling all that you see, hear and feel. Where you are physically, can impact your thinking and that can be positively or negatively. Continue reading How Long Have You Been Saying You Wish You Could Go On A Retreat?

From Sales Person To Sales Professional

20 - The quality of your attention - SBSYou might be surprised to find that changing one word can resource you to manage your critic. Your brain records all kinds of emotions and information and if a  I remember for years I was striving for normal

Here is another article in the series co-written with Steve Bimpson the founder of Think Big.

Did you see “Manage your critic manage your sales”

Today I want to hand you over to Steve’s who will share why he is Sales Professional not a Sales Person and how that change of language transformed the way he did business. Continue reading From Sales Person To Sales Professional

Why Not Everyone Should Write A Business Book?

thickpaperbackfront_604x964As I approach the final stages of writing my first business book I am taking sometime to reflect on some of the critics that inferred that I shouldn’t write a book. Some questioned that this was just a distraction? Others inferred it was an avoidance strategy. Some said it was a waste of time and it won’t make you money. And others looked on and said I wish I had your courage. Continue reading Why Not Everyone Should Write A Business Book?

Why Can’t I Plan Like Everyone Else?

I often hear people having a conversation with their critic about why they can’t plan like everyone else.

Many observe how others plan and think they are doing it wrong.

That is your mammalian brain operating in survival mode. It is checking do you fit in and how do you need to behave to survive in this pack/group. It is trying to work out the rules and the reality is that the rules are different for each of us. What we need to work, learn and live at our best is a constanlty evolving model that needs to be reviewed and checked to ensure you are making decions with the most up to date data.

When your attention is on rules and how do you fit in you are not thinking from a place of clarity but survival.

 

Truine Brain B&W

The model of the Triune Brain was developed by Paul Maclean. I learned it from Caitlin Walker author From Contempt to Curiosity – creating conditions for groups to collaborate.

When is the best time to plan?

Some say that you should plan and set goals annually, then quarterly and review them monthly.

Some say that you should have 5 year and 10 year goals.

But if that is not how your brain works your critic can have a lot to say and this wastes valuable time and energy.

Do you want more time for the people and things that matter?

Planning over different time frames gives you a more comprehensive overview and yet few are agile at all time frames. Most of us are naturally drawn to one or the other. We either love the detail planning of day to day or we are drawn to the big picture visionary planning. And few in my experience have an effective system in place to check the consquences of the business plan on your health and family.

It can be uncomfortable to think in a way that is not natural for you.

Which is why it important to learn to be comfortable with uncomfortable long enough to hear what it has to say.

So the answer to the question why can’t you plan like everyone else is because no one plans the same. We have some similarities and we have many differences. The way to manage your critic is to have absolute clarity and confidence in your way.

When you first of all explore how you do planning now when it works your reptillian and mammalian brain are able to settle and you can think more clearly. Then once you know how you do it you can then develop your skills.

Wealth Dynamics is a great business development tool that quickly makes sense of what your natural time frame may be. Be curious about the time frames that work for you. If you were to have a planning day this week when would it feel comfortable to have the next one? Notice what works for you and how far apart they are.Then consider what would you like to have happen today? What would you like to have happen in the next week? Next Month? Next Year? 5 years? Notice which time frame you find easier to answer.Now reflect back and notice what has worked in the past week, month or year? Some time frames will be easier than others.

If you find you can’t imagine or plan for these time frames get curious and change the time frames and notice what happens?

Can you do 5 days?

Can you do 21 days?

Can you do 3 years?

As The Strength and Solution Detective I work with you to track patterns and notice what is happening when it works for you. Through the power of metaphor we can stretch and develop the agility of your planning time frame.

Clarity brain

Your brain is processing lots of information all of the time and a plan gives you clarity of what you want and support you to make faster and more effective decisions.

Taking time out to reflect on what has worked, what is working and what would it be like if it were just the way you would like it to be can settle your critic and give you the clarity and confidence you need to take action.

If you are curious about how you plan, how you make decisions and how that impacts your time then do check out Do, Delegate or Ditch a two day retreat to give you time out from business and family to learn about how you to do more of what you love and ditch the critic that says you can’t.

I hope you have found this article useful and I would value your comments below. Please share:

What do you know now?

What difference does knowing that make?

You can join us in the Facebook group Manage your critic – Clarity confidence and change.

If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happily set you up for success. I might be part of the support you need and I might not be but either way you will you know your next best step.

Or find out more about how to manage your critic in 21 days with our on line library and webinars that explain why the critic occurs and practical ways to manage it.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detectivehow to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she learned the importance of being heard and asked for support.

By changing the way she listened she was able to manage her critic and gain clarity of what she wanted and the confidence to ask for it.

Sheryl now runs programmes that encourage you to really listen to what you need to work, learn and live at your best with others and the confidence to ask for those needs to be met.

Free Guide Success Without Stress

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

Twitter

Linked in

Facebook Business

Facebook Personal

Clarity confidence and change. Daily activities to get you thinking.

Step by Step Listening You Tube Channel

Please do send me a personal message if you are sending me a friend request as I don’t say yes unless I know you a little.

I Can’t Stop I Have Too Much To Do!!

sailing July 2016 _nWriting this book is challenging me on all kinds of levels.

One I have to be clear what my message is and even now in the final stages I am only just getting clear what I want to say and who I want to say it to. No wonder my business has struggled at times with on line marketing. I have never had trouble with face to face marketing as I just listen, they say what they are struggling with and I say that can I help with that.

Just like my clients who come to me, I have to be focused and willing to ask for help.

I have to believe in myself more than I have ever done and believe that what I have got to say has value and will be useful to others. And I have to be brave because I know some of the people that I would like to hear me won’t and some will want to spend more time teaching me what they think I have done wrong than listening to what I have to say and I want to be ready to listen. I don’t want to be defensive.

Wiht this in mind I am currently going through all kinds of emotions.

Fear has definitely showed its face a few times in the last few weeks as the deadlines draws closer.

My motivation is driven by the fact I want to have a copy of my book in my hand when I got to Australia to visit my best friend in Oct. 17th Oct the book has to be ready. No more pushing it back or making excuses it has to happen.

I have now let go of 75% of the book which means there is no going back and adding or changing unless I want to pay the editor to do her job again.

That leaves me with the final 25% tobe sent over by the end of this week.

On top of that I have clients to take care of, a business to run, a family to connect with and the all important factor of life – I want to have fun. I am sure I am not alone but it always fascinates me how the human brain can shut down into survival mode and leave us feeling like it is just us. Even though I spend much of my time supporting others to gain clarity of their message and helping them make sense of the response they get I am still just like my clients. When I get over tired and I don’t stop to reflect and ackowledge how far I have come and how well I am doing my brain goes into flight, fight or freeze.

My critic has a lot more to say when it thinks I am in danger and when I am tired my clarity brain stops operating as effectively if at all.

Learning to notice the signs and develop strategies to communicate from a place of clairty and confidence is an iterative process.

Last week in my mastermind session the signs that I had not been listening to my critic were there. I had become teary and unable to focus. The overwhelm had reached a limit that was testing my resilience.

I use to think that when I reached this point that I was pathetic until I changed the way I managed my critic.

Now instead of calling myself names and responding with an opinion or judgment I ask more questions and I get curious. What I know to be true is that when I change my focus I change the response.

So this time last week I asked my critic what kind of pathetic is that pathetic?

The answer was – well everyone else can do this but you can’t?

In that moment I remembered how disempowering universal qualifiers can be. By saying things like everyone else can without any evidence that this is true, my mammailian brain kicks into survival mode because it worries that I am left out and I am not part of a pack that will take care of me and protect me.

That is why it is so important to find peer suppport to share the journey.

I then asked what would pathetic like to have happen?

The answer was: – I really want some time off and I want to know that I can still get the book finished before my editor goes on holiday on the 12th August and I want to be sure that I am not going to be misdunderstood.

Once I knew the real problem I was able to email my editor and ask her what is the very latest I can get the last section over and what impact does it have on her and the price I am paying if I change the deadline.

I had to check with my peer reveiw who are my ideal client what they thought of the book and then I remembered they had given me the feedback that gave me evidence the overall message was being heard as I wanted it to be.

Regarding being misunderstood that is inevitable. People will read it and make their own interpretation so I can’t do anything about that, other than be sure that I am happy with what I said and what I meant by it. Then when they criticise I can ask questions and be curious how they came to that conclusion when that was not my intention.

I was so grateful to have 15 minutes to chat to my book mentor which instanlty put my mind at rest and that I was not alone. Knowing that support is in place meant I was able to relax at the weekend and enjoyed a fab weekend catching up with people I love.

With that clarity it means I can ask for help from a place of confidence and not from a place of victim.

As I sit here today working I am so glad I gave my body and mind time to focus on fun and friendship because now I feel like I have more energy and more clairty and confidence has space to grow.

What is happening for you?

Do you listen to your critic and believe everything it says or do you ask questions and ask for evidence?

Feel free to share below your thoughts or join us in the Facebook group Clarity confidence and change.

If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will happily set you up for success. I might be part of the support you need and I might not be but either way you will you know your next best step.

Or find out more about how to manage your critic in 21 days with our on line library and webinars that explain why the critic occurs and practical ways to manage it.

About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detectivehow to improve listening skills

Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.

That was until she conquered her sensitivity to criticism and her fear of not being liked.

Sheryl runs programmes that encourage you to speak your mind. Giving you space and time to gain clarity and confidence of what you want whilst learning simple models and tools that help make sense of change. Through the step by step listening process you will become more and more confident to give and receive criticism and develop the support you need to more of what you love and ditch the critic that says you can’t

Free Guide Success Without Stress

Free Motivational Newsletter

Follow Step By Step Listening on Social Media

Twitter

Linked in

Facebook Business

Facebook Personal

Clarity confidence and change. Daily activities to get you thinking.

Step by Step Listening You Tube Channel

Please do send me a personal message if you are sending me a friend request as I don’t say yes unless I know you a little.

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Can One Event Really Change Your Life Forever?

For years I had worked hard to really help as many people as possible. My clients were become really successful in business and their personal relationships were flourishing. They were moving house and I felt I just didn’t earn enough to make that kind of change, they were booking luxury holidays and I just wished I could and they were buying lovely cars and I convinced myself that a nice car didn’t matter to me.

My critic had taken over and instead of loving helping others I started to resent it and guess what when you are not loving what you do and doing what you love you are not really that attractive and you don’t really inpsire many people to come closer to take a look. Continue reading Can One Event Really Change Your Life Forever?

Stop Walking on Egg Shells & Get Out Of Drama?

Families fall apart and businesses crumble when you cannot have an honest conversation about the way you feel.

For many of you I am sure you have tried and tried and you just don’t know how else you can approach it.

I bet you have tried so hard to say what you think and every time it ends up back at the same place with someone being offended or upset.

And maybe you have never asked for what you want and everything is based on an assumption or story you are making up in your head about what they might say or do if you speak up. Continue reading Stop Walking on Egg Shells & Get Out Of Drama?