How To Make Your Dreams A Reality?
Today I want to share my process to make things happen.
Over the years I have been known for my motivation and my ability to inspire change in others.
So what does it take to make something happen? Below is my process and the video to one of my recent Live Training sessions in the Manage Your Critic Group which has been getting some great reviews.
For those that follow me I am sure it comes as no surprise that the first step is clarity but I wonder what clarity means to you.
For me clarity means absolute crystal clear image of what I want, when I want it and what I need to do each and every day to make it a reality.
It is also gives me a feeling inside, an emotion that excites me.
And I know that the whole of me is bought into it because I know not only is it good for me but it is good for those that I love and it is good for my wider community and the world.
I talk about our decisions having more depth, height and breadth.
Think about your dream right now. The thing you want to have happen.
Does it include you? Does it include others?
Is it just focused on business or does it include your whole life and everyone that matters?
What does your head think of the idea?
What does your heart think?
Are they all in agreement are they bought into it?
What about your team? Your family? Do they get it? Do they agree?
Is this decision going something that just provides a solution for today or does it have longevity? Does it support your future self as well?
If you are saying things like I want to grow my business, I want to lose weight or I want my children to be happy.
I want you to notice how those statements make you feel. In my experience whilst those may be things you want they may also simply be a stepping stone to something more.
Too many people set goals that they are not really excited about. Some even copy goals they have seen others with and out of envy or jealously they copy them but they don’t really know why it matters to them. They are not bought into their own dream.
So the first step is to ask more questions. Listen to yourself without judgement and be sure that you are saying what you mean and you mean what you say and do all this without being mean to yourself or others. (That last part is really important, you must manage your critic)
Be curious where is that dream? Is it just in your head or does it fill the whole of you?
Once you have made the decision the next step is to have total confidence in yourself and your ability to make it happen. This is when it is important to know yourself really well. Know what works for you, know how you work and learn at your best both on your own and with others. Know what resources or support you need to develop new habits and behaviours and make sure you are willing and able to ask for the right peer support and the right time.
Consider the thing you want to make happen you might ask questions like:
- What has worked in the past?
- What is working right now?
- If it were just the way you would like it to be, it would be like what?
Now if you are doing something completely new then you might need to ask others. In my experience this is usually the first thing people do without first listening to themselves and truly exploring what they know already. The expert loves sharing what they know so they pour out their wisdom – just as I am doing now and it lands on you like a gushing waterfall and it is hard to process all the information. Whereas, when you start with what you know already you can approach the waterfall with a bucket knowing exactly which part you need to listen for and just capture that bit for now.
Confidence also comes from paying attention to what works and what is changing and proactively celebrating the change you have made no matter how small. If you are not good at celebrating yourself and the difference you make this can and will impact confidence and slow progress down – preventing turning your dreams into reality.
Invariably to make ‘something’ happen something needs to change. It might be your attention, your focus, your mindset, your beliefs and or your communication. It could quite literally be anything.
- Consider now for you to make your dream a reality how do you need to be?
- What needs to happen for you to be like that?
- What needs to change?
Change of any behaviour requires practice, persistence and praise.
It requires you to create a simple one thing you can do every day starting right now and then you have to catch yourself getting it right. You have to persist and you have to praise yourself. And this is where peer support can be so valuable. If we ask our peers to catch us getting it right then we will get praise when we overlook the change happening.
The biggest mistake people make, is they ask people to tell them when they don’t do it.
From my Slimming World days women would tell their husband – “Don’t let me eat chocolate” Then when he saw her eating chocolate and he tried to take it off her, an argument would evolve because she wanted the chocolate, something perhaps had changed and she hadn’t communicated that.
If you ask your husband to notice when you say no to chocolate and celebrate when that happens it gets others involved with the process of change not the process of failure.
Excuses versus reality
In my experience once you have clarity of what you want, the confidence in how you work and what you can do to make it happen and you have the right support to change the things that need to change, then you won’t hear yourself say things like:
- I don’t have time
- I can’t afford it
These are bog standard responses we give to ourselves and each other because people can relate to them and don’t challenge them.
That is why having a coach helps. We will challenge that. When we both you and I know how much you want to make something happen we know that time just becomes a process of chunking it down and working how when and how long it will take. Sometimes thing do take longer than expected but that doesn’t matter if you are celebrating change because you never lose confidence that it will happen.
Re affording it, you become very creative when you know you want something. What we spend our money on is always flexible, how much we earn is something we can change and therefore we can’t afford is really another way of saying I don’t choose to spend on that yet. That is a conscious decision and that can be changed.
And yes I do know there are some people in our community who really can’t afford some things and that is why I work hard to earn more so that I can give more. For every paid coaching session I do each month I give time to those that can’t afford, I donate to charities that support those in need in my community because sometimes just sometimes we need a helping hand in life and if we could all be honest with ourselves about our own situation we could help ourselves more and provide more help for others.
My dream is to change the way the world listens.
What is your dream?
What do you want to turn into a reality?
Please share below in the comments. (if you actually comment on my blog then Google things I am writing about things that are of value and that helps me help more people :-))
I want to raise awareness of how difficult it is to listen and to support individuals to understand exactly what kind of listening they need to feel heard, understood and of value.
Why ? because I want you to have the tools and resources to be in control of your communications and to know exactly how to set yourself up for success.
Your story, your version of events and how you experience the world has value and it matters and I want you to be heard and understood. And I want you to hear and understand.
Why do you want what you want? Who will it benefit? It has to take care of you and others. One or other on it’s own is doomed to fail.
Please check out this video for more information
I truly believe that when I support businesses to have better communication in the workplace that leads to greater harmony at home and that all leads to inner peace, better health and greater wealth.
i truly believe there is no need for war over resources, there is enough for everyone.
There is no need for poverty if we are prepared to share.
World peace is my ultimate aim, but right now I would be happy to support you to achieve inner peace. I would love for your world to have greater harmony and sense of connection because I know that you can then share that peace with your clients, your staff and your family and that ripple effect has the potential to create the world peace I desire for my children and their children.
Maybe I won’t see world peace in my lifetime but I am certainly seeing greater peace and happiness in the lives of my clients and that gives me hope for peace on a greater scale too.
This is now my 50th year on the planet and it is my intention to be the whole of me without apology and to write to you from my heart without editing or worrying about what people think and your feedback helps me grow and be the best writer I can be. What did you think of this article?
Know you need more clarity please do get in touch.
I love our monthly Clarity and Confidence Retreats where small groups of 5 or 6 clients meet at my home and take time to get really clear about what they want to have happen and each month celebrate the step by step changes that are getting them closer and closer to the dreams. And because space is limited and so is time I am really excited
And I know that not everyone lives close enough or ready to attend the physical retreats which is why this year I have partnered with Karen Williams to run virtual retreat days called Make it happen days.
Please share below your thoughts as google likes to know you like me or join us for more private conversation in our closed Facebook group Manage your critic
If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will be happy set you up for success.
I might be part of the solution you need and I might not, but you will you know your next best step.
Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.
That was until she learned the importance of being heard and asking for support. In her book she describes the step by step journey she took to learn how to manage her critic turning her overwhelm into clarity in 7 steps.
Sheryl now runs retreats that encourage you to really listen to what you need to work, learn and live at your best with others and the confidence to ask for those needs to be met.
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