The Importance of Using Their Words Exactly
How many times have you said to someone or they have said to you; “You are not listening?”
So much frustration and overwhelm can be created simply because some speaks and feels completely frustrated that what they have said has been misunderstood.
Many relationships breakdown because our brain hears words, phrases and tones and assimilates it with what we already know and then completes the picture on auto pilot and then when we summarise what we heard often we add in our interpretation and tone.
We then get accused of not listening, when in fact we are listening but we are not necessarily leaving the other person feeling heard.
In this short video I talk about the importance of using their words exactly. I am aware when I watch this video back that this is role play and I am aware that summary is an extreme version and that your summaries might be more accurate.
The important thing to notice is whether the response you get is similar or not as the response we get is the only true calibration of what is working. Not everyone will tell you how it feels and some won’t ask for feedback for fear of what they might hear.
So often these thoughts are kept inside; slowly but surely undermining communications and relationships.
If you are keen to be the best manager, leader and or parent you can be and you want to develop your skills to Motivate, Manage or Mentor others;
Don’t miss our annual retreat where we explore listening, questioning and feedback skills and unravel what is holding you back from getting or giving the response you want.
Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than turning overwhelm into a clarity and confidence that change can and is happening.
Sheryl and her team now runs retreats, one to one coaching and online group coaching course that provide you with a space and time to gain clarity, focus and direction whilst unraveling what is really holding you back and plan your next best step with confidence. For regular updates and examples of how listening skills can resource you to manage yourself, time and others through change check out Free Success without stress newsletter
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