I Will Never Do It, It’s Too Hard
One of the many things I love about the Women’s Business Club is the monthly speakers and this month did not fail.
Lynda Taverner from Raindancers joined us to talk about ‘Believe’. In front of each of us we had been given a card with statements that many of Lynda’s clients say. Things like:
“I will never do it, it’s too hard” or “Why can’t I do it as well as my friend”
As Lynda talked we knew she was talking about her year 6 students and yet everyone of us as adults could related to the inner voice. It never really goes away but someone how the cheerleaders do. As we get older someone how we are supposed to be able to do it for ourselves.
Lynda’s story of adversity, being bullied at school, broken marriage and redundancy meant that her own self belief were at an all time low.
Lynda gave this young man hope and a voice by ensuring he, the teachers and other pupils understood that he was not being awkward or naughty and that he simply did not physically experience the world as they did. By supporting him and being his cheerleader that meant that he was able to contribute and engage and learn.
Lynda has a vision to support families and their children to fill the mental health gap, build resilience whatever the weather and to provide above hope.
But Lynda needed her own cheerleaders people to help her have a voice and she said “It would not have happened if it hadn’t been for my supporters.”
Firstly her good friend Sharon who she fondly referred to as her ‘Top Banana has also been an advocate of what I do and who I am.”
I met Angela De’Souza founder of Women’s Business Club becuse she was running a 3 week intensive course on how to set your business up. That led to me entering the Dragon’s Den competition at the annual Maximise conference and winning.
And with each phase of the process Lynda was challenged to think about what she was offering, why and how much. And words of encouragement that affirmed that she was right to follow her dream and her vision gave her hope. And as she talked you could see her beaming and as everyone listened intently she was reminded again that what is obvious to her is still unknown to many. I do believe I saw her heart grow in that moment to know she did matter and she was and is making a difference.
It doesn’t matter what people say, many of us shine a little more when someone else takes the time to acknowledge us, to honor us and validate who we are and how we feel. To take time to say something nice and can give us evidence that we matter and we make a difference.
I love stories like this where the supporter of others finally gets a voice and someone else stands by their side and says you matter too.
After years of being the advocate for children Lynda now has her own team of cheerleaders.
It can be so easy to give help and be helpful and yet it can be so challenging to ask for it.
Lynda talked about how she has asked for help before and didn’t get it, so eventually she stopped asking. Having joined Women’s Business Club she has been much more able to ask for help because people actually do want to help.
Overwhelm can cause us to lose sight of who we are and the difference we make and we can lose clarity and confidence in asking for help. This can result in a feeling of isolation and loneliness which can drain our energy mentally and physically. And the vicious cycle begins.
What many people perhaps don’t understand about coaching or entering competitions such as the Dragon’s Deb is that the process makes you think about what you want and what you want to say and why.
You have to stop and truly listen to yourself and take yourself seriously.
You have to think about how you want to come across and you will get feedback. It can be uncomfortable and that is when the growth happens.
It was awesome watching this beautiful soul shine and talk from the heart about how determined she is to reach the parents of children with low self esteem and confidence.
She knows over a course of a year transformation can be made by providing mentorship for the child and tools and resources for the family as a whole.
It can take just one really good cheerleader in your corner to make anything possible.
Who are you cheer leading right now? And who cheer leads you?
Perhaps you feel you need your very own strength and solution detective in your corner, training you to listen to yourself without judgment, guiding you to notice and truly celebrate the change you make in the lives of others. Then please get in touch.
If you want help and support with your children then please don’t hesitate to get in touch with Lynda at Raindancers – Passionate about transformational hope
Please share below your thoughts as google likes to know you like me or join us for more private conversation in our closed Facebook group Manage your critic
If you are struggling to be heard and understood and it is preventing you from doing your best work and living your best life then please do book a 30 minute call today with no obligation and I will be happy set you up for success.
I might be part of the solution you need and I might not, but you will you know your next best step.
About the Author – Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detective
Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening, is well known for her fast speaking and her passion to make things happen. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough.
That was until she learned the importance of being heard and asking for support. In her book she describes the step by step journey she took to learn how to manage her critic turning her overwhelm into clarity in 7 steps.
Sheryl now runs retreats that encourage you to really listen to what you need to work, learn and live at your best with others and the confidence to ask for those needs to be met.
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