How To Find Your Mojo

Today I was curious about the expression “I have lost my mojo” I have heard my clients say it many times. I work with clients to help them explore what they mean by what they say and the impact those words have on their clarity and confidence to take motivated action. I believe our own system is always listening and interpreting what it hears. Learning to pay attention to this feedback can often make sense of why we say one thing and do another.

Then today I caught myself saying it. Ironically, I thought it was the first time in a while and decided to write about it. Only to discover I had a part written article that I had started a few weeks earlier. I guess I lost the mojo to complete it. 🙂

When I work with my clients we start by getting clear on the definition. When I looked the word ‘Mojo’ up in the dictionary it said “Your mojo is your personal power or influence over other people” 

For me that was not my definition. My mojo is my energy and enthusiasm to live life to the full. It is what gives me the motivation to act on my thoughts and my decisions. When I have lost my mojo it is like my body has given up and wants to rest but my head still thinks we should be ‘doing’ something.  Then I get torn between parts of me wanting one thing and part of me wanting another. So for me it is not about how I can or cannot influence others. It is more about how I can influence and motivate myself.

What I recognise, as I give this some thought. The action doesn’t usually stop. I keep doing, only now it is a chore rather than a pleasure. So my mojo is there when I am doing what I love with joy in my heart or I am loving that which I have to do. A good example would be cooking. I love nothing more than getting into the kitchen and creating a meal for my family. I love the colour and the smell and the whole process of chopping and preparing. When I lose my mojo I still do the cooking but now my mind is somewhere else. When I can’t find the things I want I get irritable and agitated.

I still take action and do things but the passion and fun are gone. Things that I usually do with ease, become difficult. The simplest of decision like deciding what to cook can trigger overwhelm.

Today as I sit with the word mojo and have one of those important honest and helpful conversations about what mojo is or isn’t. I am aware that this loss of mojo is temporary. I have been here before and this too will pass.  I am not stressed or bothered because I have enough evidence that this doesn’t last forever.

However I would love to be able to have my mojo more of the time.

That is when I encourage my clients to get curious about the process. Understanding what happens just before and just after loss of mojo can help make sense of the pattern. Interestingly I started to write about loss of mojo on the eighth week of lockdown and just after that I had another period of motivated and inspired action. Now three weeks later I am noticing a similar pattern.

Both times coincided with the ending of something.

This time saw  the latest “7 Day Make it Happen Motivator” come to an end. I have absolutely loved running this programme and it requires my attention for seven days straight. It is beautiful assisting the transformation that takes place, in such a short period of time. But I also feel a bit lost that first day when no one needs me to get up and be all bubbly and focused. Now what would normally fill that void would be time with family but of course that has happened and so I did what I usually did and filled it will learning. Only that course also came to an end at the same time.

As I reflect I can see something similar three weeks ago. I had not long finished the first ‘Make it happen motivator’, and that had started a few days after the the ‘8 Week Do, Delegate or Ditch Foundation Course’ had finished. So I had worked 7 days a week for 8 weeks straight.  I had also attended a 30 day course creation challenge with The Automation Queen. which required 4 hours a day for 30 days.

Straddling all of this, I was part of a nine week intensive course to develop my group facilitation skills. It should have been a three day course in April but due to Covid 19 it was transferred to online over 9 weeks. This is a challenging course at the best of time but it was even more challenging dealing with the adjustment of state and focus on zoom versus face to face engagement. It turns out that the lunch time and coffee break banter were vital parts of the resources and support that I needed. Due to the new format they did not occur naturally and so I need to consciously create more time, which proved harder than I thought.

What I am noticing just by reflecting on the past few weeks is how much change my brain has been processing and adjusting to.

I also notice a familiar pattern. A sense of loss and grief as things come to end. I did what I used to do before I knew better. I filled the space with something rather than simply having some quiet time to reflect. I flew into action mode and did what felt right and I have no regrets but I am now tired.

I know that taking a break is important and I have been full on since lockdown was announced. Quite often when I work with doers, people who like to take action they struggle with sitting still or taking time off and yet when we model working at their best it always includes time to rest, restore and recharge.

I am tired. Physically and mentally. Everything that usually resources me to work, learn and live at my best changed due to the covid-19. A planned holiday and time away in April and July were postponed. I went from working 5 days a week to 7 days a week. I know that for me to work at my best I needed to be rested otherwise I lose sight of what matters and what works.

If you find yourself saying you have lost your mojo take a moment and get curious what does mojo mean to you. Your mojo is like what at its best? and what is happening when it’s at it’s worse? (Clarity)

What is your process? What happens just before loss of mojo and then what happens? (Confidence)

Then notice what has changed recently or what needs to change?

The more I work with my clients to help them understand what they need to take motivated action the more I am aware of the importance of pausing long enough to reflect, learn and celebrate before starting the next task on the to do list.

So I am taking a few days out to do things I love, sleep more and rest. I know that I will come back raring to go because I know the pattern and trust this to work.

However if you are stuck and find that no matter what you try then please check out the next Make it happen motivator and I would love to train you to listen to yourself in a way that makes sense of the impact your words have on your motivation to act.

And you can order a copy of my next book Do, Delegate or Ditch that makes sense of why we say one thing and do another  click here: 

Your purchase will motivate me to keep going and make sure the book is the best it can be.

Sheryl Andrews (aka The Listening Detective)

Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate, manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than helping others feel heard and understood. She soon discovered there were 8 different kinds of listening and often people started talking without knowing which they needed. At Step by Step Listening they create space to explore what kind of listening works to ensure individuals are resourced to work, learn and live at their best with others and on their own. .

For regular updates and examples of how listening skills can resource you to manage yourself, time and others through change check out Free Success without stress newsletter

 

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Sheryl Andrews, Founder of Step by Step Listening is well known for her fast speaking and highly motivational passion. But what many of you may not know is that in private behind closed doors she was also no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough. Sheryl use to find it difficult when criticised even when she knew they meant well and found it difficult to respond rather than react. A series of 3 events in her personal life exaggerated her emotional overwhelm and forced her to address this problem and conquer her sensitivity to criticism. Today she shares every day stories of every day people and inspires you to discover ways to gain clarity and confidence to change the way feedback and criticism impacts your performance.

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