The Tone and Pace Of Your Questions Does Matter
One of the vital skills when it comes to managing ourselves and others through change is the art of asking good questions. In this short video I talk about tone and pace. (Yes it is a few years ago now but the content is as valid today as it was then 🙂 )
The invitation is to be curious about how your speed and tone might or might not be impacting someone else’s ability to respond. To work and live with others we have to be able to ask good questions and give someone else space to respond.
We can become frustrated when questions are left unanswered, not answered quickly enough or take our thinking somewhere we are not comfortable to share.
I know for me my brain can take things quite literally and make some weird and wonderful connections between what is heard and my existing map of the world.
The pace of a question can generate urgency in me that means that I forget to think and process before responding. And yet when I give myself time to think I have been accused of being dishonest and not speaking the truth.
Take a moment today and listen to the stories you have about questions and how they should or should not be answered. Perhaps you think people that hesitate are not telling the truth, or that when you can’t answer quickly people will think you are stupid. The list goes on and I have heard many as our clients unravel the stories their critic tells them about how questions should be asked and or answered. And all those stories inhibit our ability to listen.
If you are keen to be the best manager, leader and or parent you can be and you want to develop your skills to Motivate, Manage or Mentor others;
Don’t miss our annual retreat where we explore listening, questioning and feedback skills and unravel what is holding you back from getting or giving the response you want.
Sheryl Andrews – The Strength and Solution Detective
Founder of Step by Step Listening, Sheryl Andrews has always been keen to create space where other people felt safe to speak their truth no matter what that was. She is well known for her ability to motivate manage and mentor others through change and loves nothing more than turning overwhelm into a clarity and confidence that change can and is happening.
But what many didn’t know is that in private behind closed doors she was not always able to do that for herself, she was fearful of upsetting others and often did not ask for her own needs to be met. She was no stranger to lapses in self belief and an overwhelming sense of not being good enough. That was until she learned to train others to listen in a way that made it safe for her to ask for help and be herself.
Sheryl and her team now runs retreats, one to one coaching and online group coaching course that provide you with a space and time to gain clarity, focus and direction whilst unraveling what is really holding you back and plan your next best step with confidence. For regular updates and examples of how listening skills can resource you to manage yourself, time and others through change check out Free Success without stress newsletter
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Necessity versus Nicety – Goal Setting That Works For You
I am sure like me and many others before us, you have decided on goals, written them down and maybe even made a beautiful vision board and produced a beautiful step by step plan and then nothing happens and so nothing changes.
Ironically so many then think planning is a waste of time when in fact the process of vision boards and planning are not the problem – instead it is how you decided on the goals in the first place.
Many blame time for not taking action but that is rarely the truth. What is happening is that we make a decision to use our time for something else; but sadly it is rarely a conscious decision. Instead it is driven by our subconscious thoughts and feelings that drive our behaviour. Continue reading Necessity versus Nicety – Goal Setting That Works For You
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