David Spencer – Business Development Manager

DR Communications

What was happening before Step by Step Listening?

Having heard about Step by step listening and getting to know Sheryl I was intrigued to learn more. I was never really sceptical about the process, because I love learning and I love to understand how people learn and do things, but I was very, very surprised at how engaged I have become with the process, and how more intrigued I’ve become with it, because of the way you delivered it.

What was happening for me personally before working with you?

• I was not feeling great at this point and identified I need some support in finding a clear direction moving forward
• I was in a job that I was passionate about succeeding in but was feeling worn down by the ways of working and the environment I was working in. The daily commute took me away from my family and was impacting my health.
• I was looking to find a solution which would work moving forward and I was considering:
  • Having to change jobs
  • Find a better way of working with my current employer which worked for all whilst exploring other opportunities to give me a future exit strategy, which was just not feasible with the current working conditions.
  • Or going out and doing something for myself by setting up my own business

What I was really looking for was clarity because my procrastination over the decision making process was affecting my home life and personally I just wasn’t feeling myself and I was tired.

I knew I needed to change, but I didn’t know how to get to that change, so I was really looking for some support to get to that point.

What kind of sessions did you attend?

I initially did the 30 day Clarity Confidence and Change programme which involved:

• Pre session clarity workbook
• 2 hours one to one session at Sheryl’s home office
• Weekly accountability for 4 weeks
• 30 minute laser phone call

And I have now signed up for regular clarity sessions over the next 9-12 months.

What happened?

The programme for me was fantastic.  The initial two hour clarity session was a real eye opener.

I remember going into the initial clarity session not wanting to change the way I was or come out a different person. I just wanted to:

• Understand a little bit more about how I needed to be to come to the right conclusion and take myself in the right direction
• Work out how I plan and deliver that best

What became very clear, very quickly was that in order to get to that place, I needed to spend some time working out:

What makes me, me?

What is the right direction for me?

What happened as a result of being in that session was a bit of a gob-smack moment when I came away thinking it wasn’t as simple as it looks, which made me realise it was not just a case of make a decision and go for it.

It was well worth reflecting and understanding how I learn things and how this influences my decisions before making the right decision and moving forward. The strength and solution questions do really make me think and I certainly was able to take my thinking to another level.

The weekly accountability was also very unique. You were flexible and challenged me to communicate in a way that worked for me, safe in the knowledge you would say if it was not working for you.

It was great to be able to send my response via audio sound bite which saved me so much time and angst as I would have written and re written the response over and over again.

That said I have also learned the value of seeing my goals/words written down and having them to refer to.

Now I know the value of both audio and written I can decide in the moment which is more important

And it was great to use the 30 minute laser session to mentally set myself up for the meeting I consequently had with my boss about my contract.

What happened?

The whole process encouraged me to understand how to best:

• Set expectations
• Be accountable to myself
• To explain to people how I learn and what I need to work at my best with them

This has already in just 30 days started to really make a massive difference.

• I am now working in a different environment e.g. mainly from home
• I have negotiated the kind of work I do and the projects I will get involved with going forward
• I am working on an exit strategy with my employee to allow me to support their growth and set my own business up

This programme has given me the confidence and respect to do that and now I am able to spend more time with my daughter Hollie and wife and have time for the gym so I feel  better and healthier. This in turn empowers me and makes me more confident about doing more things.

Wow if that is the pre journey set up then I guess I am at the start of a very exciting journey and I look forward to you helping me to keep it going forward.

In addition to that I would just like to add that processes like Clean Language can be a bit strange, and leave you a little bit confused at times, but actually that’s the point, because you need to give a genuine answer and sometimes that does require digging a little deeper into your memory banks.

I really enjoyed this way of learning about myself and your approachability makes the whole process very easy to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.

What was happening before working with step by step listening?

At home I was juggling many aspects of my life,  in fact it felt like I was juggling them all in order to make them work better for me. My husband had decided the marriage was over and I was not finding it easy to accept his decision. At work I had very little income and a lot of anxiety over bringing in income through my business. I lacked confidence with networking and marketing to make it happen and personally, I was constantly fighting in my own head with the decision to stay self employed or go back to being employed.

Which sessions did you attend?

I started with several taster type sessions and had a couple of coffee and chats with Sheryl when I was very kindly invited to join Sheryl’s  Excel group for one year coaching and mentoring. At first I had absolutely no idea whether I really wanted to commit myself for a year. Sheryl reassured me that this was a journey we would start together and at any point I didn’t think it was working I could opt out. This left me feeling like I had control over what I was committing to.

Once I was in it, I realised that you always asked what I would like to have happen so as the client I was designing the programme with you and therefore I always got what I wanted. You collaborated with me to make it happen and created the space but ultimately I learned to be sure I was asking for what I wanted. From day one it was a partnership in the true sense of the word. And I feel very fortunate to be able to continue to share space with you and co- facilitate when the opportunity arises.

The Excel programme meant that I had one to one sessions which were amazing, fabulous and significant in terms of providing me with resources, insights and understanding on a personal level. These sessions underpinned all the other work.

Power groups were fun, creative and key to my business growth as they allowed me to listen to myself as well as to how others solved similar challenges.

Do, Delegate or Ditch provided me with clarity and understanding of why I had not been able to plan like others and gave me more confidence to find my own unique way of working. But the real light bulb moment came when I attended the Motivate, Manage or mentor session where I recognised my blocks around feedback and how that was preventing me from being myself in groups and my personal relationships. This was pivotal in every aspect of my life and developing the resources to know how to feel safe to speak up in my relationships is still proving to be life changing.

What has happened? What were the results?

At work I feel more confident that I am creating a business and life that is true to what I want.  I am able to work in an environment where I have built relationships with great people I value and when ‘stuff’ comes along, I know that even if I feel a bit wobbly, I have many more ways of getting back on track quicker and more effectively.  I feel like I am creating some really solid foundations for the future. I can network confidently now and engage in conversations. I have also been able to take a temporary employed role to provide financial stability during this period with confidence that I was not letting go of my dream.

At home, I realised how poor my verbal conversational skills were… however the good news is that I am beginning to understand where my language patterns were unhelpful, what I can do to change it and how I would like it to be. This was painful and uncomfortable learning but so valuable and as a result my connection with my family just goes from strength to strength

Personally I have more confidence in myself, my ability and able to be more relaxed around other people balancing their needs and wants with my own.

This is partly because I am more resourced than before so no matter what happens I always feel okay.  I am also now able to listen more accurately and appropriately. I am more aware of the dynamics of two- way verbal conversation so can notice when it is changing and what I can do differently to keep it as enjoyable as possible!

Who would you recommend Step by Step Listening too?

Everyone is the short answer!! People who want to learn to listen better and improve their conversational ability so they can develop or improve the quality of their lives, their relationships and or their businesses.

What was happening before you worked with Step by Step Listening?

I approached Sheryl in May 2010 because I wanted to know how to grow a business that helped families communicate more effectively. A few years earlier my family and I were in crisis and I was desperate for help with my own daughters and could not find the help I needed in the UK.

I had recently qualified as a coach and wanted to learn how Sheryl had set up her business.

Which sessions did you attend?  

I attended one to one sessions to start with then in 2011 Sheryl invited me to join her Excel Group. This gave me access to Do, Delegate or Ditch, Motivate, Manage or Mentor and exclusive VIP days where we access to what was happening in her head. We would model out how she was thinking and what she was doing to resource herself to work, learn and live at her best.

Today I am privileged to call myself Sheryl’s friend and I work in collaboration with her on many of her projects and I value being around her energy, enthusiasm and honesty.

The Excel group is a unique space to share with Sheryl and if you are wanting to stretch yourself then I would highly recommend this space to you.

No matter what year you join her she will be growing and learning. She is open and honest and willing and has a unique ability to create a space where you feel your contribution is of value and that you are great just as you are. If you want to be better she will support and encourage you every step of the way and she will see every weaknesses as a potential for growth and will feedback examples of when that same weaknesses is your greatest strength.

What happened? What were the results?  

I was always very clear I wanted an international business that prevents families reaching the crisis point I did and I wanted to be resourced myself to be able to hold that space for the parents and teens.

What I discovered is that I felt a fraud marketing to families whilst my own family was still having ‘the odd mini crisis’ and I was aware if I was going to manage teens in crisis I had to develop greater inner strength myself. I had to know what was right for me and not worry about what others thought.

Over the 3 years I worked intensely with Sheryl I learned how to:

• Set better boundaries at home & speak up for what I wanted.
• Recognise my music teaching style as a gift instead of thinking I wasn’t doing it properly
• Develop “The Music Café” and found my own unique way to coach groups using music as a resource
• Be more confident when networking with a clearer message and this gave me confidence to joined BNI which then provided me with additional peer support and evidence based feedback
• To tell my story openly and honestly at 4N and many other groups which inspired me to develop my speaking skills and I joined toastmasters for a period of time
• To make tough decisions because I knew what I needed to work, learn and live at my best with others
• Be resourced to do tough interviews such at the one with the USA embassy which was necessary to apply for my USA visa which in turn has allowed my dream of an international business to have potential to evolve.
• Create the right peer support around me to manage any change in my life.

What difference does all this make? If any?

I am now resourced to handle any change in my life and I can bring about the change I need to work, learn and live at my very best and I won’t except anything less than the best.

I have been give the skills to resource myself and my family. I have made brave and courageous decisions such as:

• Ending my 30 year marriage
• Applying for divorce
• Leaving my marital home
• Fund myself financially
• Resourcing myself effectively after the death of my best friend Bettina in April 2014
• Developed my relationship with two of my 3 daughters and one is still a work in progress
• Run an international business strengthening families from the inside out- I have now travelled to the USA 3 times in the past 3 years.
• Use music and nutritional supplements to bring health and vitality to families
• Develop a lunch time session for corporate companies in collaboration with Sheryl called “The Music Cafe”
• Formed new loving relationships with depth and honesty because I know how to truly be myself and I have to and want to be able to express my love for the other person and life.

I would like to add that Sheryl is amazing at recognising the star inside you and she will do anything and everything in her power to resource you to make it sparkle and shine. I will always be grateful to her for travelling with me to Colorado in April 2012. That trip was a big deal for me and knowing that I had Sheryl there with me not just mentally but also physically made all the difference. That trip gave me the connections I needed to create the international business I dreamed of and I can’t thank her enough.